I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Randomize
