Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
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