im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
