i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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