I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
