my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
