i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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