Jerry, you need to find god
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize
