my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
