Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
