and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
being pregnant is like rehab
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
