i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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