This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
