White coat. Heels.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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