Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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