you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
