she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
