you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
