I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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