what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
