why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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