if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
