Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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