Your face is a jimmy john
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Randomize
