Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
