Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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