It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
