Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
