I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
