I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
