Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Of course I have a pirate flag
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
