Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
