Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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