Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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