I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
