now i know why i became what i already was.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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