The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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