i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
