Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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