Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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