Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How does one acquire holy water?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
