so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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