I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
