you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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