So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
