Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
