Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
