I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
