the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
