you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
