So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
