Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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