she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
