So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
